Usher and I have been together for a long time. My Way was released in 1997. And You Make Me Wanna was THE JAM! In my opinion, it still is the jam. Or maybe the bomb. Haha to the outdated slang. Also I am beginning to believe that Tucson is a magical land where slang actually never becomes outdated. I kind of love that about Tucson.
But back to Usher. So I loved My Way. I loved 8701. And then my ex and Confessions came along. I will always remember that my ex and I got engaged the same day Confessions was released. We listened to that album almost exclusively for a year straight. Maybe two years. And even after we started acknowledging the existence of music outside of Confessions, we still had it in frequent rotation on our iPod. So when things went bad between my ex and I, hearing Usher became......painful. And when his next album, Here I Stand, came out, I boycotted. I hated the single, Love In This Club. I decided that Usher was washed up and nasty. Replaced by Chris Brown. Usher was irrelevant.
Time heals all wounds. One day in shuffle mode, a song from the Confessions album came on. And no pain came with it. And suddenly, I felt profound regret that I missed out on the entire Here I Stand album. And by this time, a new album was on the horizon. I had a lot of catching up to do.
I have spent days wrestling with what are my Top Ten Usher songs. There are some songs that got cut that made me feel like I was giving my child up for adoption. I love all of you, my little Usher songs. I just can only list 10. Here goes:
10. Pro Lover. Raymond vs. Raymond.
9. This Ain't Sex. Here I Stand.
8. U Got It Bad. 8701.
7. Superstar. Confessions.
6. Nice and Slow. My Way.
5. My Boo. Confessions.
4. Revolver. Here I Stand.
3. My Way. My Way.
2. Can You Handle It. Confessions.
1. Yeah! Confessions.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
Gimme Some More ~ Busta Rhymes
Gimme Some More is one of my favorite Busta songs. I (re)discovered last night that it is probably largely due to the fact that he samples the chilling opening theme to Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho.
Wednesday, my friend told me that Psycho was playing at the old Fox Theater in downtown Tucson on Thursday night. Immediately, I thought of my mom. Hitchcock and my mom just go hand in hand. I love to tell people about the perverse pleasure my mom got out of showing us Hitchcock or Hitchcock like suspense thrillers when we were kids.
Mom, in case you are thinking about denying this, I present to you the following list:
Hush, Hush Sweet Charlotte
Whatever Happened to Baby Jane
The Birds
Psycho
The Twilight Zone (movie and television episodes).
Wait Until Dark (Margaux and Rita will testify on this one!)
Come on mom! You know!
I don't remember how old I was when I first saw Psycho. I would guess 10(ish). But this isn't really a bad thing. I love Hitchcock! And last night I realized, I sort of get the same delight in showing other people these movies. These movies strike the perfect note of edge of your seat tension and not scared to the point of misery.
So basically, I really, really, really wanted to go see Psycho. With my mom. Who is 2000 miles away. So I searched my brain for a fun alternative to my mom. Someone who would really get into it. I vaguely recalled discussing this movie with my friend Cynthia. So I called her up. And she reminded me that our conversation had been about how she saw the movie when she was 5 and couldn't take a shower for the next 22 years. But she agreed to go anyway. Score!!
It was a blast. I forgot that I had forgotten the entire middle of the movie. Basically, I remembered everything up to the shower scene and then I remembered the twist at the end. The middle was a big, suspenseful mystery to me. And it was during this scary, suspenseful middle that Cynthia got scared and screamed a scream that rivals Naomi Watts' King Kong screams. It sounded like it came from the movie, it was such a perfect scary movie scream. Minutes later, when I had peeled myself off the theater ceiling and confirmed that I had not died of a severe fear induced heart attack, I laughed hysterically. Psychotically, if you will. So did Cynthia. So did the entire theater after Cynthia loudly, publicly apologized. "Sorry Guys!"
It was shortly after this that Cynthia made a comment that made me realize that she did not remember the twist ending. And oh! the feeling of knowing how surprised she would be by the ending of the movie was delicious. The rest of the movie, I felt like a lion waiting to pounce. Waiting for the moment when "Mrs. Bates" would reveal herself and Cynthia would discover.......
When we finally made it to the end of the movie (And I was so tense, it really did feel like I had "made" it to the end.) one of our fellow movie-goers asked who had screamed. Cynthia made herself known and again apologized but the fellow movie-goer echoed my sentiments (and a lot of others' based on the response) by saying that her scream had, in fact, made the movie. True story.
Cynthia left me a voicemail this morning saying that she had fun and that seeing it was cathartic and she now understands a lot of fears that plagued her childhood. Showers, being watched, driving in the rain......
So does that mean she will change her mind about seeing Rear Window with me in December?
Wednesday, my friend told me that Psycho was playing at the old Fox Theater in downtown Tucson on Thursday night. Immediately, I thought of my mom. Hitchcock and my mom just go hand in hand. I love to tell people about the perverse pleasure my mom got out of showing us Hitchcock or Hitchcock like suspense thrillers when we were kids.
Mom, in case you are thinking about denying this, I present to you the following list:
Hush, Hush Sweet Charlotte
Whatever Happened to Baby Jane
The Birds
Psycho
The Twilight Zone (movie and television episodes).
Wait Until Dark (Margaux and Rita will testify on this one!)
Come on mom! You know!
I don't remember how old I was when I first saw Psycho. I would guess 10(ish). But this isn't really a bad thing. I love Hitchcock! And last night I realized, I sort of get the same delight in showing other people these movies. These movies strike the perfect note of edge of your seat tension and not scared to the point of misery.
So basically, I really, really, really wanted to go see Psycho. With my mom. Who is 2000 miles away. So I searched my brain for a fun alternative to my mom. Someone who would really get into it. I vaguely recalled discussing this movie with my friend Cynthia. So I called her up. And she reminded me that our conversation had been about how she saw the movie when she was 5 and couldn't take a shower for the next 22 years. But she agreed to go anyway. Score!!
It was a blast. I forgot that I had forgotten the entire middle of the movie. Basically, I remembered everything up to the shower scene and then I remembered the twist at the end. The middle was a big, suspenseful mystery to me. And it was during this scary, suspenseful middle that Cynthia got scared and screamed a scream that rivals Naomi Watts' King Kong screams. It sounded like it came from the movie, it was such a perfect scary movie scream. Minutes later, when I had peeled myself off the theater ceiling and confirmed that I had not died of a severe fear induced heart attack, I laughed hysterically. Psychotically, if you will. So did Cynthia. So did the entire theater after Cynthia loudly, publicly apologized. "Sorry Guys!"
It was shortly after this that Cynthia made a comment that made me realize that she did not remember the twist ending. And oh! the feeling of knowing how surprised she would be by the ending of the movie was delicious. The rest of the movie, I felt like a lion waiting to pounce. Waiting for the moment when "Mrs. Bates" would reveal herself and Cynthia would discover.......
When we finally made it to the end of the movie (And I was so tense, it really did feel like I had "made" it to the end.) one of our fellow movie-goers asked who had screamed. Cynthia made herself known and again apologized but the fellow movie-goer echoed my sentiments (and a lot of others' based on the response) by saying that her scream had, in fact, made the movie. True story.
Cynthia left me a voicemail this morning saying that she had fun and that seeing it was cathartic and she now understands a lot of fears that plagued her childhood. Showers, being watched, driving in the rain......
So does that mean she will change her mind about seeing Rear Window with me in December?
Monday, November 15, 2010
Ten on Tuesday: Happy Happy Joy Joy
Current Top 10 Happy Songs.
1. King of Anything ~ Sara Bareilles
Who cares if you disagree?/You are not me/Who made you king of anything?/So you dare tell me who to be?/Who died and made you king of anything?
Catchy, fun, upbeat, and very, "please go play in traffic cuz you ain't the boss of me."
2. Raspberry Beret ~ Prince.
No explanation needed. If you need explanation, let me know, and I will have someone come hit you on the head with a tack hammer. (Tommy Boy reference y'all).
3. If I Had No Loot ~ Tony Toni Tone
Go listen to this song. Go ahead! I will wait.
You are in a better mood, aren't you? Yes. Of course you are!
4. It Feels Good ~ Tony Toni Tone
I know. They made the list twice. But again, I dare you to be in a bad mood when this song is blaring. And now I am inspired to say, "And now it's time for a break down...."
5. Pro Lover ~ Usher.
He is in full on Ursher mode in this song. There are technically a lot of Usher songs that could make this list. And any list. Usher is kind of his own list for me. But this song is my current happy favorite.
6. Vogue ~ Madonna
This song is Emma and I in the red Acura cruising St. Louis. When she first moved to St. Louis and I would come visit. Happy memories. Happy song.
7. Groove Is In the Heart ~ Dee Lites
This song is totally manic and I have a dorky child's love for it. This song came out when I was about 9. Just listen to this song and think about how fun it must sound to a 9 year old. I also dance to it exactly like I would have when I was 9 years old. True story.
8. She Wolf ~ Shakira
If this blog has taught you nothing else, it has taught you that I am a sucker for catchy pop songs. And for reals, don't you want to howl along with Shakira? Aaaa Whooooo!
9. ABC's ~ K'naan
I love K'naan. I thank Matthew Travis for introducing me to K'naan. The whole Troubadour album is fantastic. This is one of my favorite songs. I just want to jump through the entire song. It makes me think of jump rope in elementary school.
10. P.Y.T. ~ Michael Jackson
No words are necessary. You know.
I would like to take this opportunity to say that this list is NOT in order of favorites and is just my top 10 at this moment. I could easily make this a top 100 list and blather on for days. Jus' sayin'
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Sugar, Sugar ~ The Archies
The following is a guest post written by my friend Becca. Everyone give your love to Becca in the comments.
I laughed so hard at this story. Every single time I heard it. And I wanted to share.
This is what happens when JB goes camping.
On Friday night, we sat around the fire roasting hot dogs and devouring them until our bellies were full and happy. Then we decided that it was time to pull out the S'Mores.
JB had never had a s'more before. So, of course, we had to introduce them to him, or else the entire first-time camping experience would have been incomplete.
We helped him roast two marshmallows to absolute perfection: golden crispy brown on the outside, melted to gooey bliss on the inside.
Then we put it on graham crackers and chocolate and squished it together and handed it to him.
His reaction was priceless.
He devoured the s'more, getting marshmallow all over his face and hands. Then he devoured another. We also devoured s'mores and marshmallows, because they are amazing and you have to eat a lot of them to have a proper camping experience. Then, temporarily satisfied with our massive ingestion of sugar, we sat and watched the flames.
That is when JB crouched on the ground and started rubbing dirt on his face.
"I am a WILDERNESS MAN!!" He roared while gesturing wildly. He kept scooping up dirt and rubbing it all over his cheeks and forehead. We stared at him.
"What the heck are you doing???" we asked.
He looked up at us, his eyes wide and slightly glazed, with a manical glint to them. "I am a wilderness man!" He repeated.
At this point, we knew something was horribly wrong.
"HOLY CRAP, have you CHECKED your blood sugar lately?? Did you even take insulin for the s'mores?"
JB's eyes got even bigger, but his voice was small. "Uh... no...."
He quickly got out his diabetes kit. His hands were shaking while he pricked his finger. No blood came out. He started squeezing his fingertip, trying to get enough blood to do a sample. All of us stood around him expectantly, fearing the worst.
"Come on, blood," he chanted, "come on!"
Finally, he was able to coax enough blood out to get it on the strip. He popped it into the tester. It silently analyzed his blood and we waited tensely.
Beep.
"Hi," said the tester screen.
"Uh oh. That's... really bad," JB said.
"What does that mean?" we demanded.
"I don't know exactly, but the nurses said that 'hi' is really, really bad. It's when it's too high to count. Usually that's over 600."
All of us panicked. "What are we gonna DO??!!! Don't DIE!"
Then someone said, "Are you sure that's accurate? Did you wash your hands before testing?"
JB paused in getting out a massive shot of insulin. "Uh... no."
We hand JB wipes, and he carefully cleans his fingers. He tests again.
"128," the tester said.
It turns out that the first time, JB actually tested a marshmallow.
He also rubs dirt on his face for no apparent reason.
I laughed so hard at this story. Every single time I heard it. And I wanted to share.
This is what happens when JB goes camping.
On Friday night, we sat around the fire roasting hot dogs and devouring them until our bellies were full and happy. Then we decided that it was time to pull out the S'Mores.
JB had never had a s'more before. So, of course, we had to introduce them to him, or else the entire first-time camping experience would have been incomplete.
We helped him roast two marshmallows to absolute perfection: golden crispy brown on the outside, melted to gooey bliss on the inside.
Then we put it on graham crackers and chocolate and squished it together and handed it to him.
His reaction was priceless.
He devoured the s'more, getting marshmallow all over his face and hands. Then he devoured another. We also devoured s'mores and marshmallows, because they are amazing and you have to eat a lot of them to have a proper camping experience. Then, temporarily satisfied with our massive ingestion of sugar, we sat and watched the flames.
That is when JB crouched on the ground and started rubbing dirt on his face.
"I am a WILDERNESS MAN!!" He roared while gesturing wildly. He kept scooping up dirt and rubbing it all over his cheeks and forehead. We stared at him.
"What the heck are you doing???" we asked.
He looked up at us, his eyes wide and slightly glazed, with a manical glint to them. "I am a wilderness man!" He repeated.
At this point, we knew something was horribly wrong.
"HOLY CRAP, have you CHECKED your blood sugar lately?? Did you even take insulin for the s'mores?"
JB's eyes got even bigger, but his voice was small. "Uh... no...."
He quickly got out his diabetes kit. His hands were shaking while he pricked his finger. No blood came out. He started squeezing his fingertip, trying to get enough blood to do a sample. All of us stood around him expectantly, fearing the worst.
"Come on, blood," he chanted, "come on!"
Finally, he was able to coax enough blood out to get it on the strip. He popped it into the tester. It silently analyzed his blood and we waited tensely.
Beep.
"Hi," said the tester screen.
"Uh oh. That's... really bad," JB said.
"What does that mean?" we demanded.
"I don't know exactly, but the nurses said that 'hi' is really, really bad. It's when it's too high to count. Usually that's over 600."
All of us panicked. "What are we gonna DO??!!! Don't DIE!"
Then someone said, "Are you sure that's accurate? Did you wash your hands before testing?"
JB paused in getting out a massive shot of insulin. "Uh... no."
We hand JB wipes, and he carefully cleans his fingers. He tests again.
"128," the tester said.
It turns out that the first time, JB actually tested a marshmallow.
He also rubs dirt on his face for no apparent reason.
Insane in the Brain ~ Cypress Hill
Remember that episode of Seinfeld where Elaine hates The English Patient?
Elaine + The English Patient = Meghaun + Inception.
Okay well maybe not completely. I thought it was a well done movie. I thought it had excellent acting. Cool visuals. But if going to the movies is supposed to be entertainment, why wasn't I entertained? Why didn't I have fun? Why didn't I enjoy myself? Why did I spend a lot of time thinking, "Oh for goodness sakes! It's just a dream! Wake up already."
I will say that it was worth the $1.50 I paid to see it at the cheap seats. If I had paid full price, I would have been ticked.
Elaine + The English Patient = Meghaun + Inception.
Okay well maybe not completely. I thought it was a well done movie. I thought it had excellent acting. Cool visuals. But if going to the movies is supposed to be entertainment, why wasn't I entertained? Why didn't I have fun? Why didn't I enjoy myself? Why did I spend a lot of time thinking, "Oh for goodness sakes! It's just a dream! Wake up already."
I will say that it was worth the $1.50 I paid to see it at the cheap seats. If I had paid full price, I would have been ticked.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Time Is On My Side ~ Rolling Stones
A couple of things:
Daylight Savings Time does not exist in Arizona. Arizona is quite the rebellious state, is it not?
Oh wait, here is the explanation. In summary, it's hot here. And we can't handle it.
Weekend recap:
Saturday was....ummmmm....mostly fine, mostly good, mostly not that exciting. Mostly.
Here is how my Sunday schedule looked when I woke up on Sunday: Meeting. Answer the phone at 3 pm.
Ok so awhile back this friend of mine, Ashley A., told me about a little something on BBC America called: "Law and Order: UK." Law and Order with accents??? Yes, Please! And a young constable (yeah, not cop, constable) on the show is what Ashley A. refers to as "Hubba Hubba"! So since my house sitting house has satellite instead of basic cable, I watched that. Then I went to meeting. Then I went to Eegees because months ago, I spent $5 on this coupon book that gives you 50% off your order at Eegees once every month. So once every month I treat myself to Eegees and everything about Sunday said: Treat yourself to Eegees and then vegetate on couch and wait for phone call! So I did. In my oh so comfy flannel pj pants from Target. I love them. Except that when I wear them I start to try and rationalize how it might be okay to wear them in public or to work. And it is not okay. Unless you are going to Wal-Mart. Those pants look ree-alll classy like at the Wal-Mart. Yup. Thems my nice goin ta Wal-Mart pants.
So where was I? Sunday. Yes Sunday. Opie the monster dog vomited twice. Right before my dinner plans. Look! I know that I should eat dinner and when you have an extra nice person who is going to buy you dinner it is extra awesome. But I challenge you to eat Chinese food after cleaning up massive amounts of dog vomit! Not possible! So I went to dinner but did not eat. And then went to see Eat, Pray, Love at the cheap seats. Oh cheap seats! I love you. A lot.
Here is my review of Eat, Pray, Love: It is long. Also it is awkward to watch a movie when the theater has you and four of your girlfriends and then is completely empty except for the old lonely man two rows up who sobs and sniffles loudly during the entire movie. I can see why the movie would elicit some tears. A few people in my group shed some tears. But they seemed to do it with a little more....dignity. Also they were female. And quiet about it. Jus' sayin' The other thing about this movie is that it is all thinky thinky selfy helpy. My BFF almost clawed her eyes out she hated it so much. Oh and the clothes! The wardrobe in that movie was......fantastic or horrific. No in between. BFF and I were either like Oh pretty! or WHY IS SHE WEARING MC HAMMER'S OLD PANTS? And then we sang Can't Touch This. During the movie. It was a long movie. Longer than this post even. We had time for a musical break.
And then I rushed home to get back to my pajama pants because they had been on my mind ever since I had changed into jeans and a cute shirt for dinner and a movie. The End.
Updated 11/9/2010: I forgot to mention that Eat, Pray, Love has one of the most romantic scenes in all of cinematic history. Here is what it is: Julia Roberts and Javier Bardem are seated on a patio, each reading a book. And Javier Bardem gets up and goes over to Julia Roberts and takes the book from her and MARKS HER PAGE before setting it down and pulling her up to slow dance with him. MARKS HER PAGE! Swoon! Oh Javier Bardem! Te Amo! Te Adoro! Forget the slow dance and the kissing and the.......whatever. He makes sure that she does not lose her place in her book.
Daylight Savings Time does not exist in Arizona. Arizona is quite the rebellious state, is it not?
Oh wait, here is the explanation. In summary, it's hot here. And we can't handle it.
Weekend recap:
Saturday was....ummmmm....mostly fine, mostly good, mostly not that exciting. Mostly.
Here is how my Sunday schedule looked when I woke up on Sunday: Meeting. Answer the phone at 3 pm.
Ok so awhile back this friend of mine, Ashley A., told me about a little something on BBC America called: "Law and Order: UK." Law and Order with accents??? Yes, Please! And a young constable (yeah, not cop, constable) on the show is what Ashley A. refers to as "Hubba Hubba"! So since my house sitting house has satellite instead of basic cable, I watched that. Then I went to meeting. Then I went to Eegees because months ago, I spent $5 on this coupon book that gives you 50% off your order at Eegees once every month. So once every month I treat myself to Eegees and everything about Sunday said: Treat yourself to Eegees and then vegetate on couch and wait for phone call! So I did. In my oh so comfy flannel pj pants from Target. I love them. Except that when I wear them I start to try and rationalize how it might be okay to wear them in public or to work. And it is not okay. Unless you are going to Wal-Mart. Those pants look ree-alll classy like at the Wal-Mart. Yup. Thems my nice goin ta Wal-Mart pants.
So where was I? Sunday. Yes Sunday. Opie the monster dog vomited twice. Right before my dinner plans. Look! I know that I should eat dinner and when you have an extra nice person who is going to buy you dinner it is extra awesome. But I challenge you to eat Chinese food after cleaning up massive amounts of dog vomit! Not possible! So I went to dinner but did not eat. And then went to see Eat, Pray, Love at the cheap seats. Oh cheap seats! I love you. A lot.
Here is my review of Eat, Pray, Love: It is long. Also it is awkward to watch a movie when the theater has you and four of your girlfriends and then is completely empty except for the old lonely man two rows up who sobs and sniffles loudly during the entire movie. I can see why the movie would elicit some tears. A few people in my group shed some tears. But they seemed to do it with a little more....dignity. Also they were female. And quiet about it. Jus' sayin' The other thing about this movie is that it is all thinky thinky selfy helpy. My BFF almost clawed her eyes out she hated it so much. Oh and the clothes! The wardrobe in that movie was......fantastic or horrific. No in between. BFF and I were either like Oh pretty! or WHY IS SHE WEARING MC HAMMER'S OLD PANTS? And then we sang Can't Touch This. During the movie. It was a long movie. Longer than this post even. We had time for a musical break.
And then I rushed home to get back to my pajama pants because they had been on my mind ever since I had changed into jeans and a cute shirt for dinner and a movie. The End.
Updated 11/9/2010: I forgot to mention that Eat, Pray, Love has one of the most romantic scenes in all of cinematic history. Here is what it is: Julia Roberts and Javier Bardem are seated on a patio, each reading a book. And Javier Bardem gets up and goes over to Julia Roberts and takes the book from her and MARKS HER PAGE before setting it down and pulling her up to slow dance with him. MARKS HER PAGE! Swoon! Oh Javier Bardem! Te Amo! Te Adoro! Forget the slow dance and the kissing and the.......whatever. He makes sure that she does not lose her place in her book.
Friday, November 5, 2010
So Sick ~ Ne-yo
A list of things that I have decided just now are wrong with me:
Sometimes lately I have gotten ringing in my ear's. Ménière's Disease
I just read an article about Parkinson's Disease. I have no symptoms, but I am pretty sure I have it.
I have a bunch of darker spots of skin where I had bug bites months ago that I scratched. So malignant melanoma for sure.
Also neck pain and headaches and back pains, so something that they haven't even discovered yet and will not discover until I spontaneously expire. Then they can call it Meganasia. DON'T LET THEM CALL IT ANYTHING ELSE! This is my dying wish. MEGANASIA!
Also I think I have the Jerry's. The Jerry's is a horrible and cruel disease with no definite symptoms but I am tired today and I don't think it is lack of sleep. I think it is the Jerry's. (Jerry really wants to be a horrible disease and for people to say, "Oh No! I have the Jerry's").
Sometimes lately I have gotten ringing in my ear's. Ménière's Disease
I just read an article about Parkinson's Disease. I have no symptoms, but I am pretty sure I have it.
I have a bunch of darker spots of skin where I had bug bites months ago that I scratched. So malignant melanoma for sure.
Also neck pain and headaches and back pains, so something that they haven't even discovered yet and will not discover until I spontaneously expire. Then they can call it Meganasia. DON'T LET THEM CALL IT ANYTHING ELSE! This is my dying wish. MEGANASIA!
Also I think I have the Jerry's. The Jerry's is a horrible and cruel disease with no definite symptoms but I am tired today and I don't think it is lack of sleep. I think it is the Jerry's. (Jerry really wants to be a horrible disease and for people to say, "Oh No! I have the Jerry's").
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Buddy ~ Musiq Soulchild
Have you ever noticed how you go your whole life happily unaware of something and then when you are made aware of it, it is suddenly everywhere?
Example: Parkour.
Do you know what this is? Did you know that this is a real thing? It is also called free running.
Actually, now that I have had a moment to ponder this post and parkour, I realize that this post is really about JB.
JB is a skinny, tall, 18 year old, blue-eyed, blond haired dork. His catch phrase is, "I am a MAN!" But his voice cracks when he says it.
JB is like the little brother I never had (or particularly wanted).
JB has diabetes. I yell at JB a lot about his eating habits. Mostly because every time he shoots himself up with insulin in my presence I almost pass out. And then my friends and I ask him if that donut he just ate is as tasty as renal failure.
Once I gave JB a very small sliver of my awesome cake that I made. He told me I was his best friend. I told him he was not my best friend.
JB loves horrible, cheesy jokes. I used to refuse to laugh or smile at his jokes. I used to get angry at others who would laugh or smile at his jokes. But JB has grown on me. Like a wart. I wish I could insert the video that someone showed me today of JB dancing. It would explain SO much. But I digress (even further than I already have) The point is that at some point I caved and started giving him cheesy jokes.
Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him! HYUCK HYUCK! (that's my cheesy joke laugh y'all)
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, "dam." (I actually like that one. It was one of JB's faves too)
And slowly we round back to parkour. One day apropos to NOTHING, JB yells out: "Parkour! Hardcore!" Naturally, this needed an explanation. And now somehow, parkour gets brought up in every conversation that involves JB. I think JB once told me that he had "sweet parkour skills." It was a true Napoleon Dynamite moment. Except that JB is way less awkward. More earnest. Less awkward.
So then I was reading the interwebs as I often do and I came across this video. I had never even heard of it before and now even dogs are doing it. Good grief.
Secretly, I can't wait to show this video to JB. And then threaten him with the you are being annoying and now you must stop code word. And then he will say in hurt earnestness, "Am I really that bad?" And I will say, "No JB. Now watch the parkour pit bull video and be quiet."
And when he is done watching the video he will ask me for 1,000 time when I am going to come one of his jam sessions with his band. And when am I going to make him dessert. And I will tell him no for the 1,000 time to both. And sigh deeply. And shake my head. And act annoyed. And then smile.
Example: Parkour.
Do you know what this is? Did you know that this is a real thing? It is also called free running.
Actually, now that I have had a moment to ponder this post and parkour, I realize that this post is really about JB.
JB is a skinny, tall, 18 year old, blue-eyed, blond haired dork. His catch phrase is, "I am a MAN!" But his voice cracks when he says it.
JB is like the little brother I never had (or particularly wanted).
JB has diabetes. I yell at JB a lot about his eating habits. Mostly because every time he shoots himself up with insulin in my presence I almost pass out. And then my friends and I ask him if that donut he just ate is as tasty as renal failure.
Once I gave JB a very small sliver of my awesome cake that I made. He told me I was his best friend. I told him he was not my best friend.
JB loves horrible, cheesy jokes. I used to refuse to laugh or smile at his jokes. I used to get angry at others who would laugh or smile at his jokes. But JB has grown on me. Like a wart. I wish I could insert the video that someone showed me today of JB dancing. It would explain SO much. But I digress (even further than I already have) The point is that at some point I caved and started giving him cheesy jokes.
Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him! HYUCK HYUCK! (that's my cheesy joke laugh y'all)
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, "dam." (I actually like that one. It was one of JB's faves too)
And slowly we round back to parkour. One day apropos to NOTHING, JB yells out: "Parkour! Hardcore!" Naturally, this needed an explanation. And now somehow, parkour gets brought up in every conversation that involves JB. I think JB once told me that he had "sweet parkour skills." It was a true Napoleon Dynamite moment. Except that JB is way less awkward. More earnest. Less awkward.
So then I was reading the interwebs as I often do and I came across this video. I had never even heard of it before and now even dogs are doing it. Good grief.
Secretly, I can't wait to show this video to JB. And then threaten him with the you are being annoying and now you must stop code word. And then he will say in hurt earnestness, "Am I really that bad?" And I will say, "No JB. Now watch the parkour pit bull video and be quiet."
And when he is done watching the video he will ask me for 1,000 time when I am going to come one of his jam sessions with his band. And when am I going to make him dessert. And I will tell him no for the 1,000 time to both. And sigh deeply. And shake my head. And act annoyed. And then smile.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Confessions ~ Usher (Volume 5)
1. I realize a lot of my confessions have to do with eating habits. This is because I generally feel pretty guilty about it. But apparently not guilty enough to stop. So for the past few days I have pretty much subsided off of Double Stuff Oreos and Reese's Pieces. Except for when that nice young man bought me a bagel and KayKay made me her extra spicy chicken pasta. Emphasis on the EXTRA SPICY. Hello my burning lips! But tasty all the same. Also bonus I got to laugh until I could not breath at Jerry trying to make it ok that he compared the tastiness of her food to the tastiness of Ramen Noodles. Also I got to play Tetris with Kaylan and Jerry and had quality time with them both and I did not realize how badly I needed it until I got it.
2. I am CRAZY jealous of Rita and her time with Russian speaking babies. Mad jealous. Even though she did get slapped.
2. I am CRAZY jealous of Rita and her time with Russian speaking babies. Mad jealous. Even though she did get slapped.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Kiss Me ~ Sixpence None The Richer
"Kiss Me" was the big hit from the "She's All That" Soundtrack.
Here is my version of that movie in two pictures.
Here is my version of that movie in two pictures.
A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes
So last night I had this dream:
It was March or maybe May in my dream, but I knew that it had JUST been November in the world of reality. And so in my dream I FLIPPED out and started screaming: NO! It can't be March! We haven't had NOT SUMMER. I need Not Summer!
Do you think the Tucson heat is getting to me?
It was March or maybe May in my dream, but I knew that it had JUST been November in the world of reality. And so in my dream I FLIPPED out and started screaming: NO! It can't be March! We haven't had NOT SUMMER. I need Not Summer!
Do you think the Tucson heat is getting to me?
Gone Til November ~ Wyclef Jean
Every time I make a run
Girl you turn around and cry
I ask myself, why oh why?
See you must understand
I can't work a nine to five
so I'll be Gone...'Til November
Said I'll be Gone 'Til November
I'll be Gone 'Til November
Yo, tell my girl yo I'll be Gone 'Til November
I'll be Gone 'Til November
I'll be Gone 'Til November
Yo, tell my girl yo I'll be Gone 'Til November
January, February, March, April, May...
I see you crying, but girl I can't stay
I'll be Gone 'Til November
I'll be Gone 'Til November...
And give a kiss to my mother...
~ Wyclef Jean
Do you know this song? It is one of Wyclef's best. And I remember the video so clearly even though I probably only saw it once. Wyclef Jean can be crazy and his music is really hit or miss. But "Gone Til November," "911," and anything involving the Fugees proves the man has talent.
I was thinking about this song today because I was thinking about song titles that have the word "November" in it. The first song that popped into my head was "November Rain." Good lord! "November Rain?" That was THE song. In the early 90's. Are we happy the 80's and early 90's are over? I am. But not the point.
I couldn't use "November Rain" because I live in Tucson. Tucson does not offer November rain. For instance there is a 0% chance for any precipitation of any kind in Tucson for the next 10 days. St. Louis has a percentage range for the next 10 days of anywhere from 0% to 60%. Also hilarious: Tucson's average precipitation is 0.81 inches. St. Louis: 4.06 inches. Slight difference there.
Girl you turn around and cry
I ask myself, why oh why?
See you must understand
I can't work a nine to five
so I'll be Gone...'Til November
Said I'll be Gone 'Til November
I'll be Gone 'Til November
Yo, tell my girl yo I'll be Gone 'Til November
I'll be Gone 'Til November
I'll be Gone 'Til November
Yo, tell my girl yo I'll be Gone 'Til November
January, February, March, April, May...
I see you crying, but girl I can't stay
I'll be Gone 'Til November
I'll be Gone 'Til November...
And give a kiss to my mother...
~ Wyclef Jean
Do you know this song? It is one of Wyclef's best. And I remember the video so clearly even though I probably only saw it once. Wyclef Jean can be crazy and his music is really hit or miss. But "Gone Til November," "911," and anything involving the Fugees proves the man has talent.
I was thinking about this song today because I was thinking about song titles that have the word "November" in it. The first song that popped into my head was "November Rain." Good lord! "November Rain?" That was THE song. In the early 90's. Are we happy the 80's and early 90's are over? I am. But not the point.
I couldn't use "November Rain" because I live in Tucson. Tucson does not offer November rain. For instance there is a 0% chance for any precipitation of any kind in Tucson for the next 10 days. St. Louis has a percentage range for the next 10 days of anywhere from 0% to 60%. Also hilarious: Tucson's average precipitation is 0.81 inches. St. Louis: 4.06 inches. Slight difference there.
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