Ten on Tuesday: New Old Songs

My iPod tells me it has 6,670 songs on it. I don't know all of those songs. I know a lot of them, but not all of them. When I started my drive to Albuquerque a few weeks ago, I decided to put my iPod on shuffle and see if anything new or interesting came out of it.  There were 8 songs that I had not heard before (that I was aware of) and really liked.

8 New to me songs on my iPod

1. Blue Beard, Band of Horses
2. To Whom It May Concern, The Civil Wars
3. Radio Daze, The Roots
4. I Got The Blues, Rolling Stones
5. Rococo, Arcade Fire
6. Blackout, Muse
7. All We Ask, Grizzly Bear
8. I Care4 U, Usher

Because This Is My Life .... Now

The first bite of food to pass my lips today(not actually today) was after 8:45 PM.  

I did not realize I had not ate until about 7:30 PM. At 7:30 PM, I was still at my second job. There is no food at my second job. The more stressful the day, the longer I stay at my second job. It's a calm place.  I am left alone. I am allowed to work almost totally independently. My superior inserting herself only when she needs my help. After 5 PM, I am the only one in the building. I find it soothing, so I stay. Sometimes late.

On my drive home, I think about my grossly overdue library books. The towering to-do list from my two jobs and my side project. The dishes in need of washing. The clothes in need of washing and ironing. The desk covered in personal papers, bills and miscellaneous to-do lists. The thank you notes unwritten. And so on. 

As I turn into my neighborhood, I realize it rained and I missed it. I am instantly angry at myself for working so late. Not because it leaves my personal life disheveled and disorganized for yet another night, but because I was not at home on my patio enjoying the rain.

By 10:30 PM I am already ready to sleep. I reach over to turn off the light on my nightstand when I discover it has started to rain again. I throw my robe on over my pajamas and go out to the patio.

That is where I am now. On the patio. Listening to the rain. And writing this. Whatever this is. Definitely a first world complaint if nothing else.

A thought that has been running through my mind lately is based on a scene from the movie Mr. Holland's Opus. In the scene Mr. Holland is arguing with his wife about how he spends his time. She accuses him, among other things, of working on his own music compositions instead of spending time with their son. He yells in return, "My music? My music? When do I have time to write MY music?"

His point is that he is tied up in mundane necessary life things. He has no time to do the one piece of work he really wants to do.

I am constantly writing blog posts in my head. The one thing I want to be doing-writing for my own writings' sake-is the one thing I never have time to do. Or enough energy left over to do when the "priorities" are done.

The blog posts I manage here and there are posts I have been working on for ages. A minute here. A  second there. A hurried scribble.

I find myself spending hours discussing words for my day job. Sometimes internally only. Sometimes collaboratively.

For example:

Challenge?

Problem?

Obstacle?

Difficulty?

What is the connotation of each word? How does it make people feel? How does it sound with the other words chosen? Is it too formal? Not formal enough? Does it work? Does it fit the company/product/service? 

These types of conversations will take place over and over again. Needless to say, the thesaurus is now my dear friend.

I find myself daydreaming about words...

 "That word would sound lovely on my blog."

I have such big dreams. Dreams of expertly executed entries on this blog. Posts that laud some of my friends and the amazing work they are doing. Posts that have humor and life and interest and brownie recipes. Posts that have quality pictures and proper grammar. 

This will have to do. 

This post is only fun if you play along.....

Tell me in the comments:  

What are some things that should NEVER make a person feel superior to others?

Mine:
1. Hotkey knowledge.
2. Number of FaceBook friends.
3. Things they own just because they think that owning them makes them "cool."
4. They once were in school with someone who later became famous.


What are some things that DO make a person superior(if they are humble about it):


Mine: 
1.  The ability to make other people laugh, genuinely. 
2.  Mad financial skills. Does not necessarily mean they have a lot of money. They just know what to do with what they have. 
3.  They treat everyone with decency and kindness. 
4. They use their superior skills to benefit others. 


Tell me yours!

Dearest Future Niece

Dearest Future Niece,

I can not wait for your arrival! For your soft baby hair and sweet baby smell. I was thinking about what I want to say to you. What I want you to know. For your brother, I wanted him to know his family. What it would mean to be a boy in a family full of girls. But for you, I have something different.

On tears.
You will shed them. The quantity of tears will vary significantly based on your personality, but no one escapes them completely. And if you are like me, you will shed them all the time. For a variety of reasons. My reasons: Some one has made my heart swell with pride, someone has crushed my heart with disappointment, surprises, happiness, contact lens irritation, sadness, fatigue, fear, anger, someone has just waxed my eyebrows, certain brands of eye makeup, cutting an onion, excessive laughter, gratitude, guilt, really bad days, having lash extensions applied (just to name a few). I have come to accept that I have very sensitive tear ducts.  They are just tears. Shed them, wipe your face, apologize to anyone you may have made uncomfortable with your emotional display, and move on. Although, I do think that whenever possible tears at work should be limited to a private moment in the bathroom. Let's be professional. Also, try not to emotionally blackmail people with your tears. That manipulation gets really old, really fast. And it is like the boy who cried wolf (I will tell you that story sometime), it will render your tears void and meaningless to the people you will sometimes really need hugs from amidst your tears.


On matters of the heart.
Over the course of your life, you will be inundated with the phrase "follow your heart." It's Disney Princess mantra numero uno.  I would like to present you with an alternative strategy: Fact check your heart. I can not even tell you how much grief this would save so many people (myself included). The heart is treacherous and irrational. The heart wants what it wants, but sometimes what the heart wants is just plain stupid. Quite frankly, I think that infamous heart followers who are supposed to sweep us away with their romantic endeavors are more than occasionally foolish.  Pocahontas kind of took a wrong turn with that whole John Smith thing. Also Romeo and Juliet. You will never convince me that those two were anything but overwrought teens who needed to take a step back and rationally evaluate the situation. Heartbreak? Not getting what you want? I promise you can get over that. Poisoning yourself or catching a deadly disease because you moved to England when you should have stayed with your tribe back in the New World? Significantly LESS EASY to get over.  Don't completely ignore your heart. Just make sure you always couple your heart's desire with much thought and prayer about what is best for everyone involved in the long run.  So much easier said than done, but do try.


On dress and grooming.
Not that I am an expert but... here is what I do know. Buy clothes for whatever size your are right now. And, as hard on the wallet as it is, when your size changes, buy clothes for that size. I have repeatedly made the mistake of not moving up and down sizes when I should have with unflattering results. I recently discovered that I have been wearing clothes that are a solid 3 sizes too big for me. Beyond the ego boost of discovering I can fit into a size 6, there is also the sweet goodness of looking in the mirror and seeing my body for what it really is and then working it to its full potential.  If you find a good hairstylist who gets you, hold on to him or her. When it comes to beauty products, you generally get exactly what you pay for so just suck it up and spend a little more for better results. On the other hand, less is more. Unless the less you are referring to is "less covered body parts" in which case I say, COVER UP! Please. Stop shaming your family, respect yourself, and cover up already. Although, I am not too worried about this one because I know your father. You will be covered. Don't be afraid to try new things in hair, makeup, and fashion, but do be prepared for the pictures of you to be embarrassing years later. It happens to the best of us.  Who possibly could have predicted that purple parachute pants would turn out to be a bad move? Or all those years of your mother's hair? (See me on this. I have photos.)


On sisters.
I don't know what it will be like for you to have an older sister who is so much older than you. I think it will be really, really, really fun when she turns 30 and you are what? 13? Mock her. Mock her relentlessly. Why? Because you can. And because you will be 13. One of the few ages where it is expected of you to be completely obnoxious. Maybe having a sister that much older than you will be like having an extra aunt. That could be good. Aunts are awesome! I would know, I am one. And I have them. They are awesome. On the other hand, she might turn out to be like a second mom. Your mom was kind of my second mom. What I can tell you about that is: it will be rough in the beginning, but it gets sweeter as time goes on.



On brothers. 
Anyone? Anyone? Seriously. If you have thoughts on having an older brother, leave them in the comments. That would be fun!

On everything else. 
Please do not ever go on a reality show (or watch them).
Patience is a virtue.
Life is a series of problem-solving opportunities.
If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
Don't bite the hand that feeds you.
Laughter is the best medicine.

Love,
Aunt Megs

Mixed Metaphors

Lately small things have seemed like metaphors for the bigger life picture. 

I was swimming in my pool. It called to mind childhood visits to my cousins in Winfield Village (Savoy, IL). We would swim in the community pool and test ourselves to see how long we could tread water. We had heard that the lifeguard qualifying test required a full minute of treading water. We wanted to be lifeguards. Trying to tread water was a fun challenge for us.  I paddled over to the deep end and started treading water.  It suddenly struck me less as a fun challenge and more as a depressingly accurate metaphor for life. I stopped treading water and started back floating instead. It then dawned on me that floating, letting my body bob around the pool with no active guidance on my part, could also be a metaphor for life. I got out of the pool. I have not been back in since. 

I bought flowers at Trader Joe's. They were cheap. I felt like my life and my home needed a quick, cheap, pick-me-up.  I do not know if I just bought a bad batch of flowers (is that possible?) or if it had to do with the temperature in my place during the day, but the bottom line is I came home yesterday to the most horrible rotting stench. It was the flowers. The one thing I had done to make my home a little nicer, in fact, made my home repulsive. As I threw away the flowers and tried to eradicate the foul smell from my house, I thought to myself: "This is probably a perfect metaphor for my life somehow, but I refuse to apply it."