The One With Procol Harum

So I have been listening to Whiter Shade of Pale for the last 15 minutes on repeat.  I do that sometimes. You should know this about me by now.  Here.  Here.

The thing is, since my teenage years I have been quasi-curious about what "Procol Harum" means. What is the story with that band name? Which totally reminds me of how my cousins Pete and Lucy were on a "Hey that could be the name of a band" kick once. Am I making that up? Maybe.

I say quasi-curious because 1. I don't really care if quasi-curious is a thing and I am making it a thing now if it is not 2. I was always afraid it meant something dirty. I  didn't want to know if it was something dirty. Hey proof of my lame teenage-ness alert! Shouldn't it have made me want to know even more so if it might have been something dirty? Do you ever read my blog and want to RIP all of your hair out because I can not keep my verb tenses the same through out? Or is it just me? Look time is a very fluid thing. Sometimes I have issues keeping track of what tense I am going with: past, present, future.... very vague.

Where was I? Procol Harum! I thought it might be dirty. Look! What do I know really? I thought they were some kind of hippie band and everybody knows that hippies were nothing but dirty deviants! Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds is about LSD folks! And Paul is dead or the walrus or bigger than Jesus or something. And there is the fact that my parents had the Procol Harum album.  My parents also had a bearded friend named "Stone." Stone. Let me repeat for emphasis. My parents were the sort of people who made friends with people named Stone. My mom once told me that he was nicknamed Stone because he really liked the Rolling Stones. And I believed it.  Because I was the lamest. teenager. ever. So lame that I didn't ever research the band name, Procol Harum, for fear it be dirty, or drug referency, or some nickname for the devil.  Who knows?

I do. Now. The band was named after a friend's cat. And it is Latin. Why are all Latin phrases so deep sounding? Did Latin speaking people never just need to say, "Hey, what are you up to today?" No! It was "Seize the day," "beyond these things," "far away from," and "it does not follow" all the dang time. I feel like I would be the one Latin speaking person who would be labeled the village idiot because when they were saying all these deep things, I would say, "dude, like, literally, I have no clue what you are talking about. Literally. Dude. Literally. Like seriously dude. Literally no clue." How do you think you say "dude" in Latin?

The bottom line is they took the name of their band from a cat. When I read that I started to think of all the names bands could take from one of my family's cats. Maddox, Diggy, Fluffy, Ms. Kitty, Ringo, Twinkle-Toes, Callie, Nick, Cosette, Reese, Salvi, Ima, Claude, Degas, Emily, Louisa, Yoda.

If you are thinking of starting a band, all of those names are currently available as far as I know. And you are welcome to use any of them. For a small fee. Also, I am more than willing to make up some really deep sounding phrase and claiming that "Fluffy" is in fact Latin for "make wise decisions and regret nothing." And I would sell you this whole back story about how that deep and meaningful Latin phrase was the guiding principle for my teenage years and you thought it would be really ironic and witty to use that as the name for your hard core country acid band.

My mom would totally buy your album. And when anyone asks her why your band is named "Fluffy" she would tell them it is because you really like pillows.  Don't believe her. She was a hippie.