Damage ~ Chris Brown

So my brownie post yesterday led me in a very interesting direction. Very unexpected. To understand how unexpected, you have to know that before last night I knew absolutely nothing whatsoever about Adult ADD/ADHD.

Text from anonymous person: I am starting to believe I have adult ADD for realz

me: Why???

Anon: For one thing that scribbly picture on ur post is ALWAYS what my brain looks like and that is one of the symptoms of it...and another is like........(the text continued with symptoms of Adult ADD/ADHD and how they applied to this person).

And all of the symptoms this person listed could be applied to me. This piqued my curiosity. And so I went to the Internet. Source of all knowledge. And I found this.

Okay so I know that I have a tendency to exaggerate. And be a hypochondriac. But in this case, every and I do mean every single symptom is what I struggle with on a daily basis.  The only area where the symptoms are not as prominent is the risk taking area. I still have those symptoms to a certain extent. Just not as prominent. And also there are all those pesky endless chronic exhausting racing anxious thoughts that sort of outweigh my desire to take risks.

So I feel like if adult ADD/ADHD is a real thing than yeah I totally have that. But sometimes, I feel like people just make syndromes up to feel better about the fact that they are a loser. Like maybe I don't have adult ADD/ADHD. Maybe I am just a rude jerk who interrupts people. Maybe I am just a lazy slob who doesn't want to ever live in a clean environment. Well I mean I totally do want to live in a clean environment. It's just that I look at my place in all of its messiness and I get overwhelmed and brownies and the Internet and crosswords are NOT overwhelming. Is that a syndrome? Or is that just being a lazy loser? I don't know. I am not going to lie, I would certainly feel better if it was a real thing because hey, did I mention, that adult ADD/ADHD website KNOWS MY LIFE?!? They were like, killing me softly with their words. True story.

But my favorite part? The self-help section. Where it basically says, "Dear Meghaun, Everything that you are doing is the worst possible things you could be doing for an adult ADD/ADHD sufferer."  And then they tell me what I should be doing differently.  I keep starting to read that section and then I get totally overwhelmed and am all like, "I am gonna go play on my blog some more. Blog = fun. Self-help for ADD/ADHD = frustrating."

So for the past hour, while at work no less, I have been switching between the two Internet tabs of Blogger and Self-Help for Adult ADD/ADHD. And while this specific action is not listed as a symptom, I think it might be.

Also at one point or another I have been told by my immediate family members that I lack integrity(ouch!), am a drama queen, that I am overly emotional, that I interrupt and talk over them constantly, and that I spaz out. A lot. So yeah, I guess it would be kind of nice for adult ADD/ADHD to be a real thing. And then not that it would excuse everything, but I could at least say, "Hey, trying to overcome adult ADD over here. Cut me some slack! And oh did I mention that I have been reading the first paragraph of the self-help section for an hour and because there is no plot or brownie recipe or blog post embedded in that paragraph, I am having a real hard time making it past the part where it involves a lot of really focused, disciplined, hard-work? Have you ever seen me accomplish focused, disciplined, hard-work that doesn't result in a batch of brownies? Neither has anyone else. Because I am a lazy loser. Or I have that adult ADD/ADHD. I got distracted and now I can't remember which it is."