Because This Is My Life...More Times at Target

Someday, I am going to go through this blog and count how many posts mention Target. Then I will write up an invoice and send it over to Target. I am sure they will be more than happy to pay it. For this post though, you should go review this specific post that mentions Target to understand the situation fully. 

It is Saturday afternoon. I have just finished washing dishes for 5 hours as a volunteer for RBC. I am tired and fairly gross looking, but in a better mood than one would expect me to be in considering I woke up early, washed dishes for 5 hours, and interacted with people I did not know. I decide to run to Target for a few essentials. And by essentials, I mean I needed Excedrin and I wanted to kill an hour looking at every single item on clearance in the entire store. 

I am in line at Target, when I see that the line next to mine is shorter/faster moving. I decide to switch lanes and right before I make the switch a Target employee steps into the shorter line. He only has one item so I decide that it will still be faster to make the switch, so I do. 

This time the stranger in the red shirt was most definitely a Target employee. In addition to his red shirt, he was also wearing a name tag that identified him as a Target employee. His name was Jake or Justin or insert some other common male name that starts with "J". 

**It is important to note that Jake/Justin/John/Josh was no more than 18 and clearly not hitting on me. He was just....unnaturally friendly. Of course, unnaturally friendly by my standards is basically anything past half a smile.**

Hi! How are you today? 

Inner Monologue: oh good grief! Why is he speaking to me? I clearly DO NOT need assistance! I am in the checkout line already! Seriously! 

I'm good. How are you? 

I'm good. I am on break for ten minutes so that is good and then I only have two more hours of work. So that's good!  

I feel ya. I'm tired and ready for a nap. I was working as a volunteer all morning.  

Wait! What? Why Why Why Why am I giving a stranger this random information. shut up shut up shut up!!Also, is he definitely a Target employee? Must check the badge again! 

Oh that's cool. Where do you volunteer at? 

You did this to yourself idiot! Checkout lady speed it up please! Is he definitely a Target employee? Must check the badge again! 

I am one of Jehovah's Witnesses. And we build our Kingdom Halls through volunteer work, so I was helping there this morning.

That's really cool. Where is the building at? 

Hmmmm. That is usually the point in conversation where people can not get away from me fast enough. Is he definitely a Target employee? Must check the badge again! 

It's way out that way (insert dramatic arm motion in the opposite direction because I have no idea what you call that part of town). It's like Northeast. Oh wait, no..... like Northwest? or you know I don't know.....Tucson Mountain or Estates or.....yeah I don't know.... 

Oh I think I know where you are talking about. Well that is really cool. I am joining the Air Force in a few months. 

And it was at this point that I totally cracked under his friendliness. Something about this guileless, extraordinarily friendly kid just got to me. In the same way that really cute fluffy puppy can make you think that maybe it would be sad if something bad happened to it. I was seriously ready to just sit down and chat with this kid about his life. But instead I said...

Do you already know where you are going for your basic training? 

And he told me (I forget) and at that moment he was through the checkout line, so he bid me a good day and I did the same and we parted ways. 

And that, my friends, is the story of the time where stranger danger in a red shirt at Target did not totally freak me out.