True Story: Chillin Out, Relaxin'

The time before last that someone told me to relax, I ended up trying for 10 seconds and then crying because relaxing is not something I am capable of doing.  I, quite literally, was stressed out by trying to relax.

The last time someone told me to relax, I was able to sit calmly for about 3 minutes before I got anxious that I was not relaxing properly and also I was bored.

I was talking to one of my friends about how I am getting ready to take a proper vacation (9 whole days! No work!) and I ended up telling her: Of course I am going to New York! It's the city that never sleeps! I will fit right in.  It's guaranteed to be the least relaxing vacation ever. And I am already super anxious about every aspect of the entire trip. Not enough planning! So much stranger danger! How much will it all cost?? What will the weather be like? And on, and on, and on.

 Yesterday I was talking to another friend via Skype who was helping me with my Russian.  She says to me: "You do fine and then you start over thinking it." I laugh and look over at Kaylan, sitting nearby.  "Hey Kaylan, how many times a day do you tell me I am over thinking something?" Kaylan laughs and says, "ummmm 8 or 9. At least."  She also likes to tell me that there are things in life that I  might enjoy if I would just relax and STOP with all of the thinking already.  Please note: we are not talking productive thinking here.  We are talking lying awake for hours thinking about things that I have absolutely no control over.

I have some problems with relaxing.  True story.