Confessions ~ Usher (Volume 14)

I opened a desk drawer at work to put something away and discovered that the drawer contained the following items: an almost brand new set of headphones, a clay saucer that goes underneath a clay flowerpot, an adorable notepad, and a giant stamp that stamps the words “NOT APPROVED” in big block letters. I had forgotten I possessed all of those items. Two questions: 1. How do I end up with such random items in my desk drawer? 2. How do I then forget that I have such random items in my desk drawer?

After typing the date about 25 times on April 1

st

 (4.1.14) I realized it was a palindrome. And then I told people cheesy April Fools’ puns about how long it took me to figure that out. With such witty banter, it is surprising I don’t have more friends.

I think April  1

st

 was just not a good day for my mental faculties in general since I was also cold all day at work and it took me 6+ hours to remember I had brought a sweater to work with me. Of course, when I took my sweater out of my bag I decided it smelled like the barbacoa I made the previous weekend and didn’t especially want to wear it, but I did anyway.

If I had a time machine, my first order of business would be to travel back to 1989 and demand that the producers of Eric Clapton’s album,  

Journeyman, 

 remove the awful synth sounds that put a decidedly 80’s stamp on the beginning of the song “Bad Love.” 

My second order of business would be buttoning up Michael Bolton's shirts. NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THAT MICHAEL! But watch this video anyway, because I want you to suffer the humiliation of realizing that you actually like this song. 

And since we are already talking about some soft rock hair situations, we might as well go here too: 

I also have recently decided that Kenny G was merely a product of his environment (the 80's and 90's

) and it is unkind of me to hold that against him. But I still don't really like his music. 

Join me next week for an in-depth examination of how much my mom hated the band Extreme and whether or not I will ever stop thinking the Thompson Twins and the Nelson Brothers are the same band. Also, I thought the Thompson Twins, I mean the Nelson Brothers, were the ones who did the cover of the song "Signs" up until about ohhhhhhh 3 minutes ago. I know now that it was Tesla. In my defense, I was very young in the 80's and early 90's.  And I listened to a lot of soft rock apparently. Clearly, I am deserving of pity.